


Love No Matter What

by BluebellBunny



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Jaemin cries, M/M, Really slight angst, a becomes a sweetie, because idiot didn't know how to love someone, both are adorable, but he becomes better, jaemin was an ass to renjun, jaemin's a biker, renjun is his crush, renjun's a sweetie, renjun's always loved him anyway, we love a king who grows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29038047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluebellBunny/pseuds/BluebellBunny
Summary: Soft, light hair, sweet pouty lips he remembered, his warm figure he didn’t realize how badly he missed having in his arms.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	Love No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twinkleinjun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinkleinjun/gifts).



> i never posted this but i had it half written  
> was supposed to be a birthday gift  
> so uhhh happy very late birthday my stoopid but loveable child  
> and uhh i hope yall enjoy reading this :)  
> pls forgive my editing mistakes it's 2am and i just wanna play sims

Renjun was a soft boy who showed kindness to everyone, even when there were those who showed him anything but. Especially one certain male. 

And who’s this special soul you ask? 

An arrogant male named Jaemin. 

See, Renjun had confessed to Jaemin in middle school, not expecting much to come of it, but after that embarrassing rejection in front of half the school, Jaemin had never left Renjun alone. And not in the nice sense. 

Jaemin was out to make his life a living hell. He hurt the poor boy, was relentless in making him run into his own cocoon of sadness. He turned Renjun into a terrified boy who wished so badly he could hate the other. But as the saying went, you don’t get to choose who you fall for. 

He had even ran Renjun’s friends away from him using threats that held much meaning considering he came from a family that were entirely in the local biker gang everyone stayed away from. 

Jaemin made sure Renjun was left alone, the only person to interact with the smaller was him.

In highschool, Jaemin became worse...but a little better? Jaemin never touched him or hurt him as long as Renjun stayed quiet and brought no attention to himself. Jaemin hadn’t told him so, Renjun had just figured it out himself. 

It was confirmed when a new male had transferred to their school, the teacher had the male sit beside Renjun, to which immediately the smaller male felt a familiar intense glare on him. And with one glance to the other side of the room, Renjun confirmed that Jaemin was watching him. Or more specifically, he was watching the new student who was trying to get Renjun to talk to him. Renjun was tempted, with the only sort of kindness he was ever shown -not even his parents were as kind to him as this stranger was- but instead he kept his head down and gave quiet, short answers. 

His mood didn’t seem to affect the other though. 

When class was over, Renjun had hurried out, too quick for the new student to even catch up to him. 

He stood against his locker, watching in concern when Jaemin’s crew entered the class he had just exited -no doubt to ‘talk’ to the new kid. 

Renjun huffed and opened his locker -feeling bad for the new kid- looking through his books. He shut his locker and jumped in surprise when he was suddenly caged in against it by familiar arms, and a warmth pressed against his back, breath fanning the back of his neck. 

“You were a good boy today, staying away from him.” Jaemin’s amused voice spoke against his ear. 

Renjun shuddered. 

“Good boys deserve rewards, don’t you think?” 

“I-I’m okay. D-don’t need…” Renjun whispered. 

Jaemin hummed in satisfaction at the fear the smaller displayed, before leaning down and biting the smaller’s neck. Renjun gasped and fell against the locker when Jaemin wrapped an arm around the smaller’s waist and sucked on the sensitive parts of Renjun’s neck, causing the smaller to cover his own mouth with his hand. It was embarrassing that this would happen in the middle of the hallway, but it always felt so good it left Renjun torn -especially since it was Jaemin doing it. 

He stayed still, even when Jaemin pulled away -no doubt admiring his work. “Perfect.” 

***

Jaemin was seated to the side of the booth, uninterested in his gang members’ conversation, and neither of them bothered him either. 

See, sometime during highschool, Renjun just...disappeared. Didn’t come to school one day, and then never again. It had wrecked Jaemin, though he never admitted to it. But everyone could see it -with the way he searched halls and classes on the daily, and then the small town’s roads at nights. 

And then when he finally joined his family’s gang after highschool -not bothering to apply to college since his future was set to be the leader of the gang once his father stepped down- he looked for Renjun using contacts that he had. He found out that the last Renjun was heard of was by some teachers at his highschool; he had moved back to China with his family. Other than that, his limited contact could find nothing else. If the boy was still in Korea, it would have been easy, but he was somewhere his gang didn’t have anyone to connect to.

Ever since then, Jaemin changed. He went from loud, flirty and arrogant to silent, easily temperamental leader of the teenage bikers -a position given to test his skills. He was quick to aggression and violence, and got away with it since the police didn’t butt into the matters of his gang. 

Jaemin was seated quietly in the diner’s booth when the doors to the diner slammed open, a figure running in and completely collapsing on the floor. Everyone looked on in confusion, curiosity, and worry. Jaemin didn’t particularly care. Not until one of the workers called out “Renjun hyung!” in a voice filled with concern. 

Jaemin froze, aware of his gang members looking at him with the same expression and anticipating his next move. 

He got up suddenly, still in shock at the name -and then at the sight of  _ his _ Renjun being held against a stranger’s chest on the ground. The diner worker holding him was someone he briefly remembered Jisung having a crush on, but that didn’t matter to him. 

He stalked towards the pair, Renjun regaining consciousness and Chenle helping, getting ready to help him move. 

Jaemin loomed over the two, catching Chenle’s attention, though Renjun still seemed to try to get back his barings. 

“Ah, J-Jaemin-ssi.” Chenle stuttered, unintentionally holding Renjun closer in a protective way. It flared something angry in Jaemin. He crouched down and gathered Renjun into his own arms from the terrified worker who could only stare in surprise at what Jaemin was doing. 

“Where do I put him?” Jaemin asked emptily, his attention completely taken by the beauty Renjun had become in the years he hadn’t seen him. Soft, light hair, sweet pouty lips he remembered, his warm figure he didn’t realize how badly he missed having in his arms. 

Highschool Jaemin would never admit this stuff. But the Jaemin now had spent too long without his Renjun, not knowing where the male was and how he was. 

“Th-the back room.” Chenle stuttered and pointed towards the door behind the counter, still a bit freaked out, and with the attention they were gathering, it was very out of his depth. “I-I’ll bring him some water.”

Without a reply, Jaemin carried Renjun into the back, sitting on the worn out couch in what looked like the staff room, with Renjun seated on his lap. 

Renjun finally gained full consciousness within a minute, staring in surprise at the face greeting him. He squinted in confusion, bringing up one shaky hand and touching Jaemin’s face. 

Jaemin leaned into the touch, letting the smaller cup his cheek. 

“Am I...dreaming?” Renjun’s voice came out a bit hoarse, but it was still just as soft and sweet as Jaemin remembered it to be -and had dreamed of it to be. 

“No, you aren’t.” Jaemin whispered, grasping Renjun’s wrist gently. He stroked the skin there with his thumb, feeling the air around them grow heavy and intimate as they stared at each other with similar gazes full of awe. 

“You...fainted.” Jaemin chose to bring his attention to the fact that had brought them here, a fact that worried him. 

Renjun nodded slightly, leaning against the other’s arm that was still holding him up in his lap. “It happens.” 

“Why?” Jaemin furrowed his eyebrow. Neither of them spoke above a whisper, afraid it would break the heaviness that surrounded them. 

“I haven’t gotten time to rest.” 

“Stupid….” Jaemin sighed, shutting his eyes for a second, reminding himself to be calm. “Where have you been all this time?” He chose to ask instead.

“I- I had to leave….we didn’t have enough money...so we moved back to live with relatives...but why does it matter? You hated me anyway.” At that Renjun became slightly distressed, lip quivering. He had dreamt of the moment he’d get to see Jaemin again, the reason why he put it off even though he had been back for weeks. He was afraid Jaemin would be the same. 

But he wasn’t. 

He was holding Renjun so kindly, staring down at him so sweetly, like he missed Renjun as a lover. 

Jaemin didn’t respond. His only reaction was bringing Renjun into a tight hug, arms wrapping tightly around him, engulfing the smaller. Renjun buried his face against the other’s neck, finding it comforting. 

“Where are you staying?” Jaemin asked against Renjun’s ear, his voice kind and regretful. 

“Apartment near here.” Renjun answered, muffled. “Parents didn’t want me coming back, I had to make money myself. It’s nice and cheap.” He couldn’t help but continue. He hadn’t felt this comfortable around anyone in a  _ long  _ time. 

“You’ll live with me from now on.” Jaemin responded. 

Renjun pulled away enough to look at the other, but near enough for Jaemin to keep his hold around him. “But-” 

“I’m not asking. Tell me the address and I’ll be there tonight to help you move.” 

Renjun nodded, oddly enough he had missed the other’s firm, commanding tone -that once used to scare him. 

Renjun was confused the entire time he was packing the little amount of things he had. Of course he missed Jaemin, still harbored feelings for his first love since no one in China caught his attention, and Jaemin just always managed to be on his mind. That’s why his heart seemed to seize up and his mind continued in overdrive when the moment had happened at the diner earlier that day. He was working like a zombie when Jaemin and his crew had left -Jeno and Hyuck greeting him with a welcome back and Jisung introducing himself since he had joined after Renjun had left. 

Jaemin had also forcibly taken his phone number before he left.

With how Chenle had described Jaemin, he thought Jaemin had changed for the worse, but after their meeting...he wasn’t sure that was the case. He seemed so much kinder and softer. 

It also made Renjun excited and worried how it would be living with Jamin, a dream he used to have when he was in high school. Even in China he sometimes had a dream where Jaemin came for him and whisked him away to live with him in their small town. It was just something he used to think about, and now it was happening. 

Renjun was sitting on his couch, waiting for Jaemin to arrive. He had his backpack and suitcase seated beside him -he didn’t have much with him and didn’t exactly have enough money to buy more things than necessary. 

Renjun curled his hands into fists, hidden inside his sweater paws of his  _ very _ oversized sweater. The sleeves were long enough for smacking distance -he’s tried. 

He was feeling all kinds of emotions; a confusing mix of fear, happiness, longing, worry. 

When the doorbell rang, Renjun literally bolted up, almost tripping on his way to the door. 

He swung it open to reveal Jaemin and Donghyuck, dressed in all black and leather, both with a black cap and black face mask. 

“Hi!” Renjun greeted a bit excitedly. 

Jaemin just stared at him, hands in his pocket, eyes glazed over as he looked the smaller up and down. Renjun blinked in confusion at the lack of response and glanced at Donghyuck who furrowed his eyebrows at the gang leader. 

“Jaem?” Donghyuck questioned, nudging the other. 

Jaemin startled and turned to his crewmate. “What?” 

Donghyuck pointed towards Renjun, and when Jaemin turned to look at the confused smaller male, he cleared his throat. 

“I brought Hyuck so we can gather your stuff.” He informed. 

“Oh,” Renjun started. “I only have two things though. I can do-” 

“Not a problem.” Donghyuck announced and walked into the small, dingy apartment, grabbing the brown bag and dark suitcase easily. They were right in the open so it was easy to spot. 

“You don’t have to-” 

“It’s fine, I’ll drop these off at Jaem’s then head home. I’ll see ya guys later.” Donghyuck reassured before walking out, giving Jaemin a nod which was reciprocated. 

Renjun just stared on in surprise as the male left, leaving him and Jaemin alone. 

“Why do you only have two things?” Jaemin asked. 

Renjun didn’t understand the question, but he still tried to answer, “I didn’t bring a lot from China. And most of the money I earn goes into bills, and the rest I’m saving for College.” 

“I...I’ll help you get into College, and if you need anything else, tell me.” Jaemin said instantly, leaning against the doorway. 

“But-” 

Jaemin’s glare shut him up. “Once again, Renjun, I’m not asking.” 

Renjun nodded obediently. 

“Since Hyuck took your bags, I’ll take you.” 

Renjun blinked, freezing when Jaemin moved towards him, and knelt down to pick him up, arms around his waist. Renjun squealed, instinctively wrapping his legs around Jaemin’s torso, and his arms around the other’s neck. Out of fluster, Renjun turned his head away, blush colouring his cheeks as Jaemin walked out with the smaller male in his arms. 

Renjun just stared over the other’s shoulder, unsure how to react.

He slowly relaxed into the comfort that Jaemin provided, resting his head against the other.

Under his mask, Jaemin was smiling smugly.

Renjun had fallen asleep in Jaemin’s arms, most likely exhausted by how his days had dragged on and left him exhausted to the core. 

Renjun woke up in bed -in a large unfamiliar bed, with a warm blanket over him. He was in a small room, with photos and papers stuck everywhere on the walls that were chipping paint, and one yellow light embedded in the ceiling being the only source of brightness. There was a square window to the side, showing darkness outside, and a dark field. There wasn’t a door in the room, but there was a dark curtain right infront of the bed, obscuring his vision of what lay past it. The bed he was on was really big, big enough to take up the entire space, just a tiny wooden side table was managed to be wedged in the space between the bed and the wall. 

Renjun noted he was still in his clothes, and recalled that Jaemin had carried him, which meant he was in Jaemin’s room. 

His thought was confirmed when the dark curtain was lifted enough to reveal a shirtless Jaemin, with only jeans on, ruffling his wet hair using a towel. 

Renjun couldn’t help but stare at the other’s bare upper body, shocked (and maybe a bit turned on) by how much Jaemin had done with his body -muscles filled out, and skin full of tattoos of varying designs all across his arms and torso that he hadn’t seen earlier because of the other’s leather jacket and shirt. Though before he could drool over Jaemin’s body or observe each tattoo design, the other was seating himself on the edge of the bed. 

“Finally awake?” 

Renjun pursed his lips, wrenching his gaze away from the distraction in front of him. “Y-yeah...Umm, is this your room?” 

Jaemin nodded. “Our room now, there is only one room since it’s a trailer. I moved into my gang’s trailer park after highschool.” 

Renjun’s eyes widened, mostly at the fact that this was  _ their _ room. He was gonna stay in the same room and same bed as Jaemin. 

Out of nervousness of being under the gaze of his all time crush -of his all time _ love _ \- Renjun began playing with the hem of his sleeves. 

“You should go back to sleep, you seem tired and you even fainted today. We can talk tomorrow.” Jaemin suggested kindly. His whole demeanor was such a surprise to Renjun, and it had his heart speeding up like it did in highschool. 

He nodded hesitantly. “I-Is it okay if I take my pants off? I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in them.” He asked, glancing up at Jaemin, who’s eyes widened at the request. 

“Totally! I mean...if it’s uncomfortable, go ahead, I want you to be comfortable.” Jaemin said, clearing his throat and trying not to show his excitement, which thankfully went unnoticed. 

That got a shy smile out of Renjun, and Jaemin relaxed at the sight. “Um...can you, turn around, please?” 

Jaemin nodded and turned around where he sat, facing the curtain. Renjun managed to wrestle himself out of his pants while seated on the bed since there wasn’t exactly any space in the ‘room’ to get up. 

He was glad he was wearing a sweater that went down to his thighs, or else he would have to wear uncomfy pants to sleep. He just hoped his shirt didn’t ride up in his sleep -he was sure it wouldn’t because he barely moved in his sleep, but you could never be too sure.

Renjun crawled towards the edge of the bed, where Jaemin sat. 

“Jaemin?” He called out, sitting on his legs. 

Jaemin turned, gaze zeroing on the smaller male’s legs. Renjun blushed in embarrassment, and used his very long sleeve to wack the other’s arm -it didn’t hurt but it did surprise Jaemin who moved his shocked gaze to Renjun’s face. 

“You’re staring.” Renjun mumbled with a pout. 

Jaemin couldn’t help but let a smirk grace his lips. “How could I not? You always did have really sexy legs.” 

Renjun went extremely red at that, and he moved to wack the other again with his sleeve. 

However, this time Jaemin anticipated it, and instead managed to grab Renjun’s sleeve and his arm, and pull the smaller to fall against his chest. Their faces were mere inches away. 

“What did you want to ask?” Jaemin wondered, tightening his grip around the smaller who couldn’t help but lean into the warmth Jaemin provided. 

“Uhh...Wh-where do I put my pants?” He stammered. 

“I’ll leave it by your suitcase, get into bed.” Jaemin answered. 

Renjun nodded, not expecting Jaemin to slowly lean in and leave a soft kiss against his forehead. When Jaemin let go and grabbed the discarded pants and left, Renjun still felt the spot tingle. Even as he got under the covers, he felt the ghost of Jaemin’s lips against his forehead. 

Jaemin came back seconds later, turning the light off and casting the room into darkness -save for the lights coming from the lamp posts outside. 

Renjun was trying to fall asleep, back facing Jaemin, but to no avail. His mind was wide awake, constantly reminding him what had happened, when it all changed --did it change in highschool and he just never noticed? Could he trust Jaemin? Did he even have a choice? 

Only time could tell. 

He was so lost in thought he didn’t realize until it happened -Jaemin had moved, and very shamelessly was spooning him from behind, arm tightening around his waist. 

Renjun could hear the increased beating of his own heart. 

“Can’t sleep?” Jaemin’s voice was right against his ear, Renjun couldn’t suppress the shiver, which the other caught. “Cold?” 

“Uh...yeah.” Renjun replied. It was a lie, Jaemin’s body heat against his back was keeping him warm enough. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jaemin sighed and suddenly the body heat was gone. Renjun turned, laying on his back, when he heard Jaemin shift, he was pulling the blankets closer, mostly towards Renjun. 

The smaller male could only watch in awe as Jaemin -the intimidating, scary Jaemin he once knew- tucked the blanket around Renjun and himself, making sure Renjun had most of it. 

Jaemin was kinder now. He could see. Jaemin was tired, he looked exhausted, and yet he was caring for Renjun in a way no one had ever done before. 

The thought of it gave Renjun enough confidence to ask the one of the things he had always wished for when it came to Jaemin; “C-Can you cuddle me?” He asked shyly, fingers playing with the edge of the blanket. He felt Jaemin freeze and stare at him. 

Maybe he asked for too much?

But before he could overthink it, Jaemin was pressing himself against the smaller once more, although this time he used his grip around the smaller’s waist to turn him around, letting Renjun bury himself against the other. He even hooked his leg around Renjun’s, the softness of his pjs warming Renjun’s legs. Renjun could feel the warmth coming from Jaemin’s bare chest, could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed -it calmed Renjun. And when Jaemin started rubbing his back, the smaller was falling asleep within seconds. 

***

Jaemin was pissed, injured, and down right mad. He stormed into his trailer, stopping at the kitchen area where Renjun stood in shorts and a large sweater, concerned. 

“Jaemin, are you okay? Do you need anything? Should I call-” 

“Just  _ shut up _ !” Jaemin exclaimed, startling the other. 

Renjun stared in shock and slight fear, unsure how to react to the taller male standing in front of him. 

“ _ Fuck! _ ...I need to be alone.” Jaemin huffed and stalked towards the room, disappearing behind the curtain, not even sparing his lover another glance.

Renjun released his breath. He was worried about Jaemin, but also terrified since he hadn’t seen the other like this since...high school. So, he stayed outside obediently.

Jaemin was in his room, sprawled on his back across the bed, trying to calm himself down. 

When he managed to relax a bit, his anger over his stupid gang members (not his friends) dissipating a bit, he became aware that the bruises and small cuts he received didn’t hurt as much. From there, his thoughts went to Renjun’s terrified state, reminding him of how he snapped at the smaller and how the other had reacted. 

Jaemin cursed at himself, he hadn’t ever wanted to scare his delicate love. He had told himself never to do so again. 

But he did. He just had. 

He knew he should apologize, but Jaemin was never one to do so. Even so, he didn’t want to let the night end with both of them on a bad note. 

Sighing, he got up and headed towards their small living room-like area. 

He found Renjun curled up on the couch, watching a video on his phone. 

Jaemin bit his lip, feeling himself relax at the sight of his sweet Renjun curled up and engrossed in the video he was watching. 

He headed towards the smaller male, who looked up at him in concern, little bit of fear, and anticipation. The fear part had Jaemin feeling worse internally, but he still seated himself beside the other.

“I...I’m hungry.” Jaemin started, emotionless. He knew it wasn’t the best start, but he didn’t know what else to say. And to be fair, he was actually hungry.

Renjun perked up though. 

“Oh! I made food.” He got up immediately and made his way towards the kitchen area. 

Jaemin watched as Renjun grabbed a bowl he had kept to the side of the counter. It was a simple plate of noodles -it was the best he could do at night, when he wasn’t sure whether Jaemin was eating at home or not. 

Renjun walked back to Jaemin on the couch, putting the food on the table and settled beside the other, pressing himself into the corner of the couch. 

Jaemin stared at him in confusion when he did so. “Why are you sitting away from me?” 

Renjun said nothing but moved closer. It was a small couch, so moving a little had him pressed against the taller male’s side.

Satisfied, Jaemin picked up the bowl and chopsticks, but he just stared down at it. 

“W-what’s wrong?" Jaemin could tell Renjun was trying not to say much, obviously a bit nervous from before.

Renjun continued to look at him in worry, wondering what the other wanted. 

“Feed me.” was all Jaemin could come up with. 

Renjun blinked, momentarily confused, but still nodded and took the bowl and chopsticks away from him. It would take longer but neither minded. 

Renjun fed him quietly, barely even looking at Jaemin’s face. But Jaemin’s sights were on the smaller male the entire time. He never grew tired of observing his lover’s face. His beauty always left Jaemin speechless and dazed. It made him wonder sometimes how he could have hurt such a pretty flower in his younger days. 

It wasn’t until the food was done that Jaemin leaned in and placed a kiss on Renjun’s cheek, while Renjun put the bowl on the table. 

Renjun turned to the other in surprise, and Jaemin took it as a chance to peck the smaller’s lips.

Renjun gasped, eyes widening in surprise when Jaemin wrapped his arms around the smaller male’s waist and brought him close, making him sit on his lap, straddling the taller. 

Jaemin tightened his grip, hugging Renjun who could only wrap his arms around the other’s shoulders, accepting the hug with some confusion, until he remembered something, trying to pull away, “Your injuries!”

Jaemin’s grip on him didn’t leave him room for movement.

“What about them?” Jaemin asked, looking at Renjun curiously. 

“Don't they hurt? I don’t wanna agitate them even more.” Renjun explained, subconsciously pouting, which of course melted Jaemin’s heart. 

“Don’t worry, babe, I’m used to it, they don’t hurt anymore.” He reassured. 

“But-” 

“Renjun. I’m fine.” 

“But -it hurts.” Renjun pouted again. 

Jaemin sighed. “It doesn’t-” 

“NO!” His exclamation caught the other off guard. “I mean...It hurts me...it hurts my heart when I see you hurt, even just a little bit. Everytime you come home hurt...I don’t feel okay. Not until...not until you’re okay.” Renjun explained, cheeks reddening the more he spoke. 

Jaemin stared in awe, not realizing his eyes were welling up with tears -it was the first time someone had ever cared this much for him, he was in shock. 

Renjun, though, was panicking. “Why are you crying?!” 

I’m not.” Jaemin sniffled and shifted his gaze away, realizing all too well there were tears in his eyes. 

“Are too!” Renjun cupped the other’s cheeks with his hands, forcing Jaemin to look at him. 

“I just...I -fuck! Fuck, I love you so much, Renjun, please  _ please  _ never leave me again, fuck,  _ please _ !” Jaemin begged brokenly as tears fell from his eyes. 

Renjun stared wide eyed, before leaning in and placing a delicate kiss upon the other’s lips, tasting the tears that had fallen. 

“ _ I love you too _ .” He said against his lips. Jaemin accepted, tightening his grip once more to bring the other impossibly close, not warning to part -he liked having Renjun’s lips upon his. They were soft, and a perfect match for his own. 

Renjun deepened the kiss, feeling himself heat up as Jaemin took lead of the kiss. The two of them broke away slowly, neither opening their eyes until they were well apart. 

Renjun took the chance to speak, “I promise never to leave you again, unless you want me to.” 

Jaemin shook his head. “I’m not letting you go. Ever. You’re mine, you always have been mine, and I want you by my side, forever.” 

“I want you too -always have, and always will.”


End file.
